Secrets
by shelbyyvonne
Summary: Nuriko imitates Houki so as to have a little personal time with Hotohori. A story conjured up grazi complete boredom. ON HIATUS.


**Disclaimer: You know it, I don't own it.**

**I'm not telling you what han'in'you means...you get to figure that out on your own. -.-; but it is japanese, i know that cuz i'm smart. **

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Nuriko gazed at his feminine reflection once more, for what had **_had_** to be the thirty thousandth time in two minutes. Was he really gonna go through with this?

_I mean, Houki gave me permission and all, but, still. It just feels wrong..._

He took a deep breath and recalled the events of early in the morning...

OQOQOQOQOQ

"Hey, Houki! Can I ask you something?" Nuriko smiled nervously as the woman in question turned to face him abruptly.

"Oh, Kour-" She closed her eyes and sighed. "...Nuriko. Ya know what? I don't like 'Nuriko', and I can't call you Kourin anymore, can I? I think I'll call you han'in'you-chan. Yeah. Anyways, you scared me. What is it?"

"Han'in'you-chan?!" He took a moment to glare at Houki. "Why?!"

-Shrug- "I dunno. Cuz I can?"

"...Whatever."

"Ok, so ya wanted to ask me something. What was it again?"

Nuriko suddenly went into stutter mode. "Yeah...umm...ya see...well...How are you doing today?" The empress raised an eyebrow.

"I'm...good. How are...you?"

"Oh I'm great fine perfect just dandy well that's all I wanted to say see ya later!" The purple haired seishi turned to leave but Houki grabbed the back of his shirt collar firmly.

"Mmhmm, right. You're not going anywhere, babe." Nuriko swore under his breath as he gave into her grasp. "Seriously, now, come on. What were ya gonna ask me?"

"Well, ya see, I decided not to ask anybody anything after all so...If you could just let me go I'll-" Houki didn't let him finish; She jerked him back.

_Not only does she have both my _**looks**_ and _**personality**_, sometimes I wonder if she has my damn _**strength **_too!_

"Can't let ya do that quite yet, gomen han'in'you-chan."

"But- I **_really_** don't wanna say it anymore and I **_really_** wanna go...like...take a bath or something so-" She jerked on his collar again. "Itai! God! Fine!" Nuriko brushed her hand off his shirt and sighed. "I wanted to get a deeper look inside Hoto-chan's mind and was wondering if I could dress like YOU to do it! Happy now?! Sheesh..."

Houki looked stunned for a second. "Hotohori-sama? Dress like me? Are you sure?"

"Lady, if I had still wanted to, I would have asked you -**WITHOUT-** having it forced out of me."

"Oh. So you don't wanna now?"

"Nope," Nuriko stated simply, his anger already forgotten.

"Ah, well, 'tis a shame," The empress spoke dramatically. "For I'd have allowed thee to do so, but alas, only because thou art thine truest friend..." She put a hand to her forehead and fell into Nuriko's arms in a clearly practiced motion, after which the purple haired people laughed.

"Alas, really? Cuz I still hate you..." Nuriko replied jokingly, only causing the laughter fit to grow. "But you seriously would let me pretend to be you and have a little personal chat with Hotohori-sama?"

"Aha! So you admit; You **DO** still want to!" Houki pointed out, making Nuriko blush. She chuckled and then continued, "Yeah, han'in'you-chan, I'll let you. Just promise me this: Only a talk, ok?"

Nuriko nodded his head and promptly attatched himself to Houki's leg out of gratitude.

XYXYXYXYXYX

The rest of the day, up untill about an hour and a half ago, had been spent flirting playfully, beating eachother up playfully, playing immature games playfully, and, after about ten o'clock AM, doing things that, quite frankly, a married woman should not do with anyone other than her husband. Not sex...just stuff like kissing, and groping eachother, and flirting, and hugging, but, "They both knew it didn't mean anything anyways so neither cared about these stupid little displays of false affection that they only displayed to display their boredom". (Or so they told watchers. I don't believe them. I think there's somethin' goin' on, though I'm not all too sure I wanna know WHAT.)

Nuriko narrowed his eyes towards his reflection. _And I was so close! I'll get more than that next time we have a "girl and han'in'you-chan's day alone", Houki-babe!_

"No, ya won't. I'm still married, 'member?" Houki reminded him as she entered the room. "Ta tha emperor, tha one that'll have yer **HEAD** if 'e discovers tha truth 'bout you an' I."

_How can she read my thoughts?! That is sooo creepy!_

"I know, ain't it?" She set a bowl of warm water down on the desk, next to a terrified Nuriko. "Ah, well, let's finish gettin' all this extra make-up off." With that, the empress took a warm rag and began to wipe down Nuriko's face and continued talking. "I mean really! What is it? Ya been outta yer han'in'you practice so long thatcha fergot how ta put make up on tha right way? Ya look like freakin' Tomo!"

"And exactly when did you start speaking with a strong kansai dialect? You sound like freaking Tasuki!" Nuriko shot back, pissed off at the world because, by all means, Houki was right.

"Right after ya spit yer gum in my mouth an' then tried ta get it out with yer teeth, 'member? Cuz ya cut me an' it's all swollen now..."

"Oh. Right." He slumped in his chair to let his 'friend' finish doing his make-up for him.

**-------**

**I'm sorry...even I'm laughing right now and I have NO FREAKING IDEA WHY!!!! I have been cracking up at the weirdest things lately, like I was watching veggie tales and Bob was all "I'm Bob. I'm a tomato, and I'm here to help." I started laughing like crazy for no idea!! And I was watching episode 50 something yesterday and Tasuki was all "Chiriko! You're back! You been doin' alright?" (or something like that) and then Chiriko was all "No, I was dead." and I started laughing like crazy at that too...I can't help it...anyway...it's not over yet. Check back every once in a while for new chaps and all.**

**Also, just so you know (because I'm SURE it was bugging the hell out of you -sarcasm alert-), han'in'you means**


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